Presidential Diary

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	Martin Van Buren's Lost Diary
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The Mystical, Magical Lost Diary of former President M. Van Buren April 10, 1838 Dear Diary, Today I woke up and realized that my hair is not as sweet as Andrew Jackson's. Soon after this dull realization, I shuffled on down to the meat market to pick up some good ham. Diary, the people on the kitchen staff in that extravagant white house just cannot seem to pick their meats correctly! Note to self - have speaks with kitchen staff at a later date. Anyways, Diary, after the meat market I journied to the barber's shop. This really is not my choice barber, Diary, but alas, presidents get free trims at this shop. With the depression and all, I finally settled for that pirate of a barber. His name is Andrew, perhaps I shall later poke fun at Mr. Jackson and call him Mr. Smelly barber pants! He would get a kick out of that, Diary! Although, I would not do such a thing seeing as to how I love Andrew Jackson with every fraction of my heart and must not come off uberlame infront of him. That would be such an embarassment. Well, after I got a trim that was not quite what I expected, I promenaded home. What did I do when I got home you ask, Diary? Oh, well, that is an easy one. I sat around staring at papers for hours on end thinking about how very sweet Andrew Jackson is. Your comrade and confidant, Marty
Marty Van Buren I totally ask for disrespect with a name like this! I beg of you to not call me President Van Buren anymore because that requires WAY to much respect being directed in my direction. I now simply go by, Marty.			April 11, 1838 Dearest Diary, This will not be a very good diary entry because I am wicked tired. I have had such a long and eventful day that I cannot count my many blessings. I woke up and realized that my ascot was not as nearly as sweet as Andrew Jackson's. With this in mind, I hurried on down to the ascot store which is located in the small cabin at the end of Main st. It is so splendid, Diary! I cannot even describe the pilgrimage my eyes were taken on! Yes, Diary, it was almost a holy experience! So, I chose a nice crimson colored one that I thought would suit Andy's taste in fine ascots and almost skipped down the street with glee after the purchase. I really do hope that Andrew appreciates it as much as I predict he will. We shall see in the coming week when we see each other at the presidential ball. I really hope he does, Diary, I mean, that was a great deal of savings money I took from the white house to buy that fine ascot! I condemn this damned depression. Now, let me make something clear to you, Diary. I am most certainly not attracted to Andrew Jackson. It is just that he is the most inspiring man of all time and I wish to be a man of his stature and presence one day. Alright, that is all that was interesting that happened today really. I mean, of course I eventually had to trot back to my office and pretend I was doing some work, but that happens everyday, Diary. When will it end? Who knows. I need to go change into my PJs before my gaurds blow out my candle! Sweet dreams, Diary. Your comrade and confidant, Marty
May 15, 1838 Dear Diary, Today I woke up and peaked up above my head only to be in shock and awe from the fact that there was a totally sweet portrait of Andrew Jackson hanging right above my not so sweet face. Then I remembered that the very same portrait has been hanging above my bed since the day I pulled up to this fine white house on my horse. Now Diary, I do realize that I'm not a very cool cat, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. For example, Molly, my horse that I've had for a countless number of years, she could totally beat anyone else's horse in a competition. Except Andy's horses of course...and it would have to be a competition of beauty. Molly isn't much for running, or walking, or even moving for that fact. Well Diary, I'm off for the market yet again, those crazy white house butchers are horrid! I'm sending a roast to Mr. Jackson's manor today with all my love. How very exciting!! your comrade and confidant, Marty <3			Van Buren Isn't Andrew totally sweet?
			Andrew Jackson Besides his beloved Diary, A. Jackson was Van Buren's BFF.

We update Van Buren's diary as often as he wrote in it, so remember, it isn't our friggin fault.